Fall (enmity aplenty)

I've hit rock bottom in this treacherous Autumn

desperately staring this way and there

Out loud I shout that I don't care

Inside I slide along the side of despair

It's just not fair

how you left me last April

how you left me standing with my cards on the table

and my soul on the dotted line

Last year at this time you and I were fine

In line in synch in smoke and in drink

Our dazed eyes glazed over and hazed for days

And now...

...now you're making me pay...



What do you want me to say?

That I want you back this very day?

That I miss your kiss and wish you missed me back?

It's not as simple as that



It's not as simple as that



And yet there is no substitute

as I sit here destitute

wanting to get the best of you

but knowing you have the best of me

and you could have the rest of me

but you don't want it

and now I am haunted

by the words of a sonnet that a friend sent me

upon reading it I felt so cold and empty

enmity aplenty

The loss of you is the end of me

Decades of friendship bent and now we pretend to be

happy while apart

but we're not (at least in my heart

I am not)



You must want me to beg

Okay, then I'll beg

I'll beg

I'll plead and crawl

and then one day

maybe I won't miss you at all



No, maybe one day I won't miss you at all

But until then

I endure the Fall


--November 2006