what about HER emotions?

Here's an example of how clueless men can be.

This is what I wrote in my last blog entry:

It was nice to see Gwen again, and I was really jazzed about the way Eve and Gwen got along with each other. I was worried for a second because Gwen and I had a short fling with each other years ago, which never went anywhere but instead morphed into a respectful friendship. There was no weird tension, no jealousies or insecurities-- just three people making conversation, exchanging points-of-view and laughs and all sorts of positive energy.

Yesterday, I received an e-mail from Eve:

"What time is your show on Thursday?"

Then, a follow-up, before I had a chance to reply to the first one:

"Sorry if I seem like I just invited myself."

My response:

"I don't mind at all. The only reason why I didn't invite you is because you have acting class on Thursdays. I'd love it if you came along."

Her reply:

"Well, I figured maybe you didn't want me there because that girl who stopped by the other night. I can tell that you either have done something with her in the past, or you want to. I'll hang back on Thursday and I won't get in the way."

I didn't know whether to laugh or gasp. I wrote back:

"Gwen and I are just friends. She's too much for me. We hooked up once, at a party, years ago. The both of us were on E. It never went further than some making out. We could never make each other happy."

Eve seemed to be okay with that. But it brought up some thoughts in my head, on human nature and the need to feel special.

On one hand, Eve always acts as if she doesn't need any pity or charity from me. But that is at odds with the times like these, where innocent exchanges give way to slight jealousies...

Yes, there was a little tension: I hadn't seen Gwen in a long long time, and even though her mother is my landlady, I hadn't so much as heard from Gwen. Then, for her to show up at my door while Eve and I are having dinner... it caught me off guard, and Eve mistook my unpreparedness for nervousness.

I have to admit, a part of me was flattered that Eve would be even slightly possessive of me. And her pledge to "hang back" and not get in my way might just be her way of dealing with the possibility that I may care about someone else.

Ironically, if I'd turned around and told Eve that SHE is the one I care about, it would send her running in a beeline to get out of there.

What's more: Eve wasn't the only one feeling tense. Gwen was looking her over as well, trying to gauge the chemistry. I don't think I ever told Gwen about Eve, and if she knows who she is it's no fault of mine. Back when I was hanging out with Gwen, I had been fairly successful in shutting Eve out of my mind.

Gwen and I didn't work out because Gwen is an outrageous flirt who cannot be contained by one man or by one bottle of Cazadores. She is a wild, elemental banshee on a mission to search and destroy (and dance while doing it).

I can't keep up with a woman like that.

I suggested to Eve, later on, that she and Gwen would probably make good friends, because they both share a propensity for drink and for driving men crazy. If I ever ended up on a night on the town with those two ladies, the casualties would be innumerable.

This weekend I'm going to Carpenteria. I'm camping on the beach with my family. This is a perfect time to get away and forget all of my troubles. I will leave tomorrow morning and return Sunday... so tonight, I play my show, then go home, sleep until 8am, get up to Lancaster at 9am, then travel with the family up to Santa Barbara and set up camp.

All these women will be on my mind-- all of them, even the ones with whom I am not romantically linked. They'll make my chest heave and my heart sigh as I lay in the sand. It will be very nice to unwind and get away for a spell.

HAVE A NICE WEEKEND