The Great Mystery

I know now that I will always love her, no matter what.

She slept with my best friend. She chose a guy she could control over my friendship and her own career. She has always come up with excuses not to be with me.

Despite all of that, I still love her.

It doesn't matter who I meet, and what they can do for me. When I need them, they are never there.

But she knows when I need her, even during the times when she'd like to help me but can't because it all hurts too much.

I need to do something new, yes. And so does she-- in fact, this weekend she is jumping into The Great Mystery of Life with someone who makes her happy.

And I'll be here, like I always am, waiting.

Why?

Because I will always love her, and that's what you do for people whom you love: you wait and see.

I have no choice. There is no alternative. Even when I move on she is always there, checking out my girlfriends, sizing them up, measuring whether they are good enough for me or not.

She loves me too.

Unfortunately, we are both control freaks, and we have a hard time trusting each other and admitting our respective needs.

But it's love. If it weren't, I would not be writing this. Nor would I be gutting my life of the girls who don't really matter, the ones who are not nor have ever been important.

They are not there for me when I am down. I'm not talking about the ones I've known all of my life and consider family-- I'm talking about the ones who fill up my voided days and very little beyond that.

The fact is, I don't want anyone else.

I want her.

But she needs to be free for a while.

So I will wait.