In the early afternoon yesterday I popped one of my mescaline pills. I was told that the effects would take place within ten minutes after ingesting. I walked over to a spot on Chandler where the joggers and the walkers congregate and waited. I read a book and smoked some cigarettes while listening to MP3s, waiting for the drug to kick in.
An hour later, I felt the same. No change.
So I walked home. I found the other pill and popped it. I was told not to take more than one at a time but I figured if one of them was bunk then maybe the second one would do the trick.
Half an hour later: nothing.
All of my dope connections were out celebrating Mother's Day with their mamas and so I had nothing with which to get off. I sat around listlessly, pissed off that the drugs didn't work.
Eve called me back later on in the day and I told her of my dilemma. Her remedy? Showing up at my place with a six-pack of Newcastle and two 50 ml bottles of Jagermeister.
The Jager did the trick: it triggered the mescaline and by the time The Simpsons was over I was wobbling and feeling woozy.
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I told Eve I was going to lay down on my bed. She stayed in the other room, watching X-Files on DVD. She didn't want to leave me in such an addled state.
I closed my eyes and tried my best to sleep but the mescaline was working a number on my heartbeat. The best way to describe the effects (post-Jagermeister) is to imagine a mushroom or acid trip, minus the groovy hallucinations and sense of well-being.
I can see how mescaline can be a terrifying experience for the uninitiated. Although I did not hallucinate on the scale of, say, an LSD experience, after a while I started to see trails of light, flashes of color, and weird images in the drapes inside my lightless room. I felt frozen, paralyzed, like a vegetable.
I was almost asleep when suddenly I heard Eve's voice. She was in the other room, talking on the phone with her mother... but it sounded like she was in the same room as me, and I could hear her as clear as a bell.
I couldn't help but overhear her conversation. Her voice was sweet and natural, and it made me feel comfortable. It made me feel at ease. I felt like I was on my deathbed, reflecting upon my life and saying 'goodbye' to friends and family.
I summoned Eve, after she got off the phone.
"Can you bring me a cigarette?"
She walked into the room. I wasn't sure if she was really there with me or not.
"How are you feeling?'
"Great. I think the Jager kickstarted the mescaline."
"Ohhh..."
"It's all good. I feel real comfy here. I don't want to get out of the bed. I feel like this is my last minute on earth and that I can die in peace. And for all I know, you aren't even here-- you're still in the other room watching TV."
Eve laughed. "I can assure you that I'm here." She grasped my hand.
I told her about overhearing her conversation, and how I truly admired her for being herself, and how if I should ever die I would will my writings to her.
It felt like we were there in my room for thousands of years, watching civilizations come and go while we conversed. She was merely tipsy, so I must have appeared quite insane to her... however, she told me that this was the most honest I'd been with her in some time.
I kept making her laugh. Being on intense drugs brings out the little boy in me, and I wasted no time telling her about my hopes and fears. We talked openly and candidly. There was a lot of laughing, drinking and smoking going on. I read her some poems and even some of my ridiculous gangsta raps.
I wanted to kiss her but I was positive she was a hallucination. Besides, I didn't have any real libido-- once again, it was the drugs.
After she left, I took a shower and laid down in the tub as the shower head rained down upon me. I slept for an hour in the tub until I got cold, got up, dried off, and went to bed around half past midnight.
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I'm not even sure if what I just told you actually happened. It had a dream-like quality to it.
Bottom line: I recommend mescaline more than acid or mushrooms. If you take it by itself, you should be OK and mellow, but the minute you mix it with something as toxic as Jagermeister, watch out.
The best part of the trip was where my ego was destroyed and reborn. I really liked that part.
I woke up this morning feeling like an ashtray but enervated and alive.
I hope I can use the momentum of this trip to get me through this busy week.
4 comments:
a friend of mine called me one saturday twenty years ago or so and asked me if i wanted a mushroom cookie. i declined and so he rang off. he called back an hour later and said that he had eaten two and they were fantastic and that i should try one with him. i declined and he rang off again.
some time later he rang again and said that he had melted through the bed and managed to grab the phone as he went.......it still took him more than a hour to call me.
i think about my friend occasionally and think that he was reckless in taking so much stuff but then i think about what terence mackenna said about heroic doses of dope and i have to laugh........
Melted through the bed? That's pretty funny.
I've heard that Jagermeister contains barely legal traces of opiates in it. Can you confirm this at all, dear Doctor?
You took mescaline as a pill? That may be why you didn't get a full effect. Stomach acid denatures many drugs, and so you are supposed to chew or suck or place sublingual (under the tongue or in the cheek) acid and shrooms and mescaline. Same reason you don't take cocaine or meth or heroine pills. Just a thought.
Actually, I let the first one dissolve on my tongue. No effect. The second one I swallowed whole. Still no effect.
3 hours and 50 mL of Jagermeister later, I was pickled beyond pickling.
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