the rat and the ox

She's a Rat and I'm an Ox.

Let me tell you the story of the Rat and the Ox.

"According to legend, the Lord Buddha summoned all the animals to come to him before he departed from Earth. Only 12 animals came to bid him farewell. As a reward he named a year after each one in the order that they arrived. First came the Rat, then the Ox, the Tiger, Rabbit, Dragon, Snake, Horse, Sheep, Monkey, Rooster, Dog and Boar. Thus we have twelve signs today."

-- excerpted from "Twilight Zone's Chinese Horoscope"

The Ox was leading the race across the river bank to reach the Lord Buddha's bed. Unbeknownst to him, the Rat was riding on his back. As the Ox neared the bank, the enterprising Rat jumped off the Ox's back and made it to the Buddha's bedside first.

Thus, the Rat became the first sign of the Chinese astrological table, with the Ox coming in second.

No mention is made of whether or not the Ox was upset about this. I'm sure, however, that if the Ox had gotten upset he would've squashed the Rat in an instant. This would have probably upset the dying Buddha and led to the immediate disqualification of both the Rat and the Ox from the Chinese horoscope.

I don't think the Ox minded at all. The Ox was used to being employed for hard work, carrying loads far heavier than the Rat on his strong back. He probably admired the Rat's ingenuity and craftiness, and maybe deep down inside he was content knowing that he did all the hard work while the Rat basked in the glory.

And if the Ox was in love with the Rat, then he wouldn't be mad in the slightest if the Rat found some sort of glory, even at the Ox's expense.

Rats are reviled and despised, even though they are highly intelligent creatures with exceptional survival instincts. Western civilization in particular has no love for the Rat, most likely due to the bubonic plague epidemic that wiped out a third of Europe's population in the Middle Ages.

But like pigeons in relation to doves, Rats are not too far removed from mice, their cuter and more cuddly cousins. The bias stems from misunderstanding the true natures of all creatures great and small.

I think the Rat knows deep down inside that she owes her cardinal place in the Chinese horoscope to the Ox. Whether or not she appreciates it or not is up to each individual to decide. And if someone is not fond of Rats, they will decide negatively.


*/*


We shared a cigarette and drank coffee and made up names for our own Chinese horoscope.

"How about the Year of the Platypus?" I asked.

"No, the Year of the Wombat," she giggled.

"Does the Wombat even exist?"

"I dunno... how about the Year of the Chinchilla?"

"I kind of like the Year of the Yellow-Bellied Sapsucker."

"They're endangered, you know..."

"Oh... well, then they definitely need to be included."

"What about the Year of the Mongoose?"

"I know, let's cross-breed the existing ones. You know, like the Horsepig, or the Ratdog, or the Oxrabbit..."

"I like that."

"You do?"

"Yes, I do."

We laughed. We smoked. She poured me another cup of coffee and didn't charge me. I left a tip anyway.

When it was time to count the money in the register, she thanked me for making an otherwise dead night somewhat tolerable. I thanked her for the free coffee and walked her to her car.

As I drove to work, I couldn't stop smiling.

I just hope she made it to the Buddha's bedside.