Thursday, May 05, 2005

ALL THE KING'S HORSES AND ALL THE KINGSMEN

I've had all I can stand and I can't stands no more...

I can tolerate this country's complete abandonment of reason and logic; I can take the idiocy of TV during a Sweeps month; I can even rationalize the cowardice of the media towards our criminally-reckless government...

BUT...

...LEAVE "LOUIE LOUIE" ALONE!!

The lyrics are NOT obscene-- never have been, never will be.

The Feds tried investigating it decades ago. Their conclusion: they couldn't tell what the lyrics were because the definitive recording (by The Kingsmen) is so unintelligible.

Here are the real lyrics to "Louie Louie":


Louie Louie, oh baby, me gotta go.
Louie Louie, oh baby, me gotta go.
A fine little girl, she waits for me.
Me catch the ship across the sea.
I sailed the ship all alone.
I never think I'll make it home.

Louie Louie, me gotta go.
Three nights and days we sailed the sea.
Me think of girl constantly.
On the ship, I dream she there.
I smell the rose in her hair.

Louie Louie, me gotta go.
Me see Jamaican moon above.
It won't be long me see me love.
Me take her in my arms and then
I tell her I never leave again.

Louie Louie, oh baby, I said we gotta go



I know this because my mother owns one of those early '60s anthology LPs, with Richard Berry's version on it.

Richard Berry wrote "Louie Louie", in case you didn't know.

I'm so sick of people who know nothing pointing their crooked fingers at things they have no knowledge of... there's only so much ignorance my brain can fathom, but when a Michigan school bans the marching band from playing the song-- in the 21st century, no less --all I can think is that the collective IQ of this once-great country is now at Gumpian levels.

I mean, the marching band was going to play it. Where's the vocalist in a marching band? Answer: THERE ISN'T A VOCALIST! Therefore, even if the lyrics were proven to be dirty, how can a marching band's rendition of "Louie Louie" be obscene IN ANY SENSE?

I've heard versions that later artists have recorded, where they make up their own lyrics... but they are not the actual lyrics to "Louie Louie".

My favorite set of lyrics is by pre-Henry Rollins punk legends Black Flag. In their version, Dez Cadena sings:


You know the pain that's in my heart
It just shows I'm not very smart
Who needs love when you got a gun?
Who needs love to have a little fun?



That's just being funny and irreverent. But I find nothing humorous about stupid people (who should know better) basing their administrative decisions on OUTDATED DATA. That's like rocket scientists conducting experiments about "the ether"...

Fuck this shit-- Louie Louie, oh baby, I gotta go... to Europe... until 2008, but possibly until later.

1 comment:

Clay said...

I agree with you 100% that demonizing Louie Louie must end. I think 5 minutes of Ann Coulter will harm more children than all rock n' roll music combined (except for the "Collected Works of Shawn Cassidy" which can actually cause brain damage).

Seriously, though: the battle should not be whether this song or that song is "obscene." The battle should be over:

A) Who gets to define what 'obscene' is and (more importantly)

B) Who cares who defines what obscenity is? Free speech, by definition, means it contains things that certain people don't want to hear. That's why its threatening and that's why it must be preserved at all costs.

So I say [nervously glancing over my shoulder to make sure my wife is not to be found]: Forget about going to Europe. Lets bring Europeans here. Preferrably big-busted Swedish virgins with broken gag reflexes.