Monday, November 07, 2005

"Who Are You?"

My high school days were singular in that they doubled as the college years I would've experienced had I decided to go to a university. The Humanities program at our high school covered a lot of the same terrain as the first two years of college, according to all of my friends who went on to a four-year and beyond.

The CORE program at our high school taught Philosophy and Social Institutions instead of History and Government; we studied Literature and Art History instead of the standard English classes that most high schoolers have to endure.

The curriculum was definitely left-leaning, as were most of the teachers. We went on odd field trips, learned alternative theories on accepted history, and were generally taught to ask a lot of questions.

Sometimes we had these weird diversions from our curriculum, events and/or speakers that had nothing to do with what we were learning but at the same time the kinds of things to which our teachers felt we should be exposed. One of those diversions was a day devoted to various groups visiting our school and scheduling "seminars" that we had the option to attend. We were given passes from our normal classes and asked to participate in some way.

I can't remember my second choice, but my first choice was a lecture on communication put together by the National Coalition of Christians and Jews. They have since changed their name to the National Conference for Community and Justice, which I feel is a smooth move because just the mere mention of Christians and Jews conjures up negative connotations for those who resent organized religion.

I know for a fact that, when I showed up at the lecture and found out the NCCJ's full name, I was wary at first. Fortunately, the agenda of the NCCJ was not to preach or sermonize, but to provide tools for people of all races, creeds and beliefs to cultivate communication between those boundaries that sometimes keep us from understanding one anther.

One of the things they asked us to do was an exercise where, after teaming up with another person in the room (preferably not a friend), an exchange of questions would be conducted.

Even though the questioning goes both ways, the execution is deliberately one-sided. Basically, one person asks the other person the same question over and over for a reasonable amount of time; the person being asked must answer that same question differently in every instance. When the questioner is satisfied, they switch roles.

There were three questions for both parties to use as templates:

1. Who are you?
2. What do you pretend to be?
3. What do you think of me?

I teamed up with this kid named Aaron, who later became a pretty good friend of mine. I think we may have variated from the script a bit but for the most part it was an interesting foray into the realm of communicating. Forced to redefine my answers at every query, it made me aware of what we as humans tend to share and what we as humans also tend to hide.

For years afterward I would use that question-answer format when meeting people for the first time, mainly on girls with whom I was enamored. Eve and I did it at a speech tournament once, back when we first met.

And now, I feel like trying it out here. But it takes a long time to do, and plus there is no one asking me the questions or setting the limits of how many questions to ask. I will restrain myself to 25 prompts, and spread them out between the next three days.

Here goes:


Who Are You?

I'm J____ L______ (I'd give the full name but I'm trying to cut down on cyber-stalkers)

Who Are You?

I'm an artist

Who Are You?

I am an ordinary person with an ordinary job

Who Are You?

I am a man who tempers his passion with cold logic

Who Are You?

I am two people-- a little boy and an old man, both in the same body, sharing the same mind

Who Are You?

I am a closet Romantic, and I believe in the power of love

Who Are You?

I am a Skeptic, but not a Cynic

Who Are You?

I am a spiritual person who doesn't advertise his journey

Who Are You?

I am a dreamer

Who Are You?

I am a deliberate mystery

Who Are You?

I am a narcissist who is aware of his ego and its potential

Who Are You?

I am an insecure mess who projects stability and calm

Who Are You?

I am a person who is overly sensitive and easily hurt

Who Are You?

I am a man who is in touch with his masculine and feminine sides, in equal measure

Who Are You?

I am a music lover who eventually taught himself how to play an instrument so I wouldn't feel left out

Who Are You?

I am a person who sees his life as either an epic novel of ideas or the kind of B-movie where a healthy suspension of disbelief is strongly recommended

Who Are You?

I am a perfectionist but not to the extreme

Who Are You?

I am someone who delights in upending people's expectations

Who Are You?

I am a great judge of character-- it's one of the few things that I boast about without any fear

Who Are You?

I am a hard worker

Who Are You?

I am a restlessly curious person

Who Are You?

I am the King of All Cats

Who Are You?

I am a walking contradiction

Who Are You?

I am a 'pataphysicist

Who Are You?

I am a bookworm and a music geek


That's 25 right there. I realized halfway through that the third question ("What do you think of me?") will not have the same impact because there won't be a specific person asking me the question; thus, my answers will be more generic. But that's a bridge I'll cross when I get to it.

If I was doing this in the flesh with another person, this would be the moment where I start asking them the question, stopping only when I feel that they have been honest or forthcoming with me.

Eye contact is essential as well.

Try this out with someone you love or want to know better. Try it with someone you think you know inside-out. Let me know how it went.

Next Time: "What Do You Pretend To Be?"

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