all things must pass

To clarify:

When I stated in my last post that Eve and I will never be apart ever again, I didn't mean in a physical sense.

It has been written that all things must pass. Whether you claim your source to be the Bible, Robert Frost, or George Harrison, it is a sentiment that reverberates inside of me every waking moment of every day.

I know one day she and I will die and leave this temporal plane of existence. I also know that I cannot spend every single minute with her, nor can we attempt to do so without serious detriment to our lives independent of each other.

What I meant by my words yesterday is this: She is always with me, no matter where I go, no matter what I do, and I don't think even the grave can extinguish the bond we have.

First and foremost, she is my dearest and closest friend. What killed me the most during those years we spent apart was not so much the love that was lost, but the friendship that seemed to be irreparable. And yet, her image in my mind haunted me so much during our years apart that it almost drove me insane.

The biggest thing that angered me when she was with Dick was that he refused to let her be my friend, and she allowed him to have that power over her.

Interestingly enough, Eve called in to work yesterday just as we were getting ready to go to the Natural History Museum. She was informed by a co-worker that someone called and left a message for her... from jail.

The operator asked if the call recipient would accept the charges. Rather than leave his name, the caller used the allotted time to wish her a Happy Birthday.

Eve is pretty sure it was Dick. She didn't know he'd been locked up or for what reason, but it would also explain why he hadn't bothered her in some time.

I know she still feels something for him: Call it pity, residual emotions, compassion, whatever you want to call it. I don't begrudge her that. I understand that.

But as for my feelings about him... I think it's obvious how I feel.

I kept my mouth shut as we drove to meet Laurie and Daniel. My mind, however, was dwelling on the reversal of fortunes between me and Dick.

All things must pass, it is written


*/*


Eve has been going on about this exhibit at the Natural History Museum in L.A. for weeks now. It is entitled "The Mysterious Bog People".

And what a mystery it was: I'd never heard anything about this exhibit, nor had I any point of reference regarding its content. All I knew was that Eve was excited about going to see it, so much so that we all took off time from work for her birthday.

Eve went crazy with the digital camera I bought her for Christmas. Like a little kid running amok in a candy shop, I saw the glimmer of mischief and wonder in her eyes as she pointed her camera at everything with a visual aesthetic: skylines, fountains, flowers, and lots of candid shots of the rest of us going about our business.

I was a bit delirious from having worked a double shift in order to get the time to accompany her to the exhibit: I came into work at 4:30 in the morning, after having stayed up all night working on cartoons; I got off of work at 10 AM and kept it up until I finally had to crash sometime in the evening, after we'd gotten back from Downtown.

The Bog People exhibit was stylish and foreboding. Indeed, as if to underscore the parental warning at the onset of the collection, a small child was crying as his parents led him through the darkened maze, with ominous music playing through speakers as we followed the history of the first objects buried in the bogs of Northern Europe during the Dark Ages.

Corpses mummified by the bog peat, perfectly preserved except for the telltale signs of foul play and/or ritual sacrifice; weapons, tools, gifts and offerings; fabrics and clothing that survived the passage of time...

All things must pass, it is written.

Very morbid stuff, very fascinating.

Of course, industrialization has all but shut down any investigative archaeological research in the European bogs, so none of the findings were very recent. And the items on display weren't as impressive as the ones in, say, the British museum (according to Laurie and Daniel, who've both seen the Tollund Man exhibit in person over there) but I enjoyed the whole angle with which the show was presented.

You start off in the dark, with sinister overtones and strange music, like an X-Files episode come to life. Then, as you travel chronologically, things start to make more sense, and the lighting becomes less oppressive. Finally, you reach the end, where all the questions are answered and the exhibit viewer is "enlightened" by the rigid logic of science and reason.

They even had a take-off of CSI at the end, where the museum patrons were allowed to conduct their own forensic studies on some of the bog artifacts. This made Daniel and I laugh, because earlier on in the exhibit we joked about the possibility of setting a CSI-style show around these bog relics.

Afterwards, we checked out the other wings of the museum, using a Walkman-like device equipped with headphones that we rented for $3. Whenever you entered a certain wing, a laser would activate a music selection to accompany you as you browsed through the collections. The museum called it Sonic Scenery, and among some of the artists who contributed music to the project were the Sun Ra Arkestra, David J (from Bauhaus and Love and Rockets), Autolux, Nels Cline (who, I discovered, joined the band Wilco recently) and Ozomatli.

We got home late, thanks to merciless L.A. traffic, but we ate pizza and drank beer at Laurie and Daniel's place. I ended up napping for an unspecified amount of time before Eve woke me up and asked me kindly to take her home.

I slept like a Bog Baby.


*/*


I still have one more gift to give to Eve, but I have been waiting to get paid again before purchasing it. I kind of went overboard this year getting presents for Eve, but I am trying to make up for years of birthdays where I would call her and leave a message... only to discover later that she never received the message, thanks to Dick intercepting and deleting it.

When I dropped her off yesterday, she made a comment to me that, at first, irritated me. I called her "sweetheart" as I pulled up to her apartment, and she said:

"Stop calling me 'sweetheart'-- it's freaking me out."

Then she gave me a kiss and stepped out of my car.

As I drove away, I realized that she isn't against terms of endearment per se. Rather, it's the agenda behind such sentiments. My calling her 'sweetheart' or 'baby' or 'darling' really has no bearing on what we mean to each other.

I must admit, if she started calling me 'honey' or 'dearest' I think I might look at her like she was daft.

Words like that don't even come close to the truth of the matter. We have a psychic bond of sorts, and in fact earlier in the day she encouraged me to keep my mind open and receptive to her telepathic messages. She insists that I often have too many thoughts running through my brain, and I miss out on the invisible, inaudible hints she is giving me.

I agree with this. Whenever I think about her, she calls me up or makes her presence felt. She knows what's in my heart, and I think she freaks out when I act like we are merely two people dating.

It's more than that. Way more.

You see, the kisses and the pet names and the hand-holding and the lovemaking... all that stuff falls to the wayside eventually. But the spirit we share, and the mental connection we both possess... that stuff never dies.

It is eternal. Immortal, perhaps.

All things must pass, yes, but some things take forever before they come to their ultimate demise. But then again, if you believe that things come in cycles, there is always the infinite possibility of something manifesting itself again and again, in different forms, continuing on into endless perpetuity.

Whatever this is that she and I have, it will take more than mere circumstance to kill it. This I believe to be true.