WHAT'S THE BIG DEBATE ABOUT ALREADY?

I wasn't going to watch them. I was going to just sleep through it all. Then, after driving around and running errands, I decided to listen to it in the car, on the radio. Before I knew it, I was parked in front of a TV, watching the debate. The political junkie in me needed his fix.

For the past four years, I've been pissing people off and getting all riled up. Only in the past year have I mellowed out, to the point where I now only post once in a blue moon at my political SOAPBOX blog. But before that, I was a burning banshee, out to slaughter conservative thinkers and Republican party-liners... and the occasional misguided-but-well-intentioned Leftie.

What I saw on TV last night was a testament to the importance of knowing how to debate. What passed for debates in 2000 was unacceptable by all means. Last night, Americans got a glimpse of what a good debate can do: reveal faulty arguments in all of their unsound glory.

Of course, most Americans don't care about sound arguments. They're content to sling insults, throw tantrums, and repeat themselves. But at the same time, we Americans do love seeing someone who's good at what he/she does perform... and John Kerry, for all of his faults, proved last night that he can tear anyone a new hole without having to raise his voice or even an eyebrow.

I know I brag about my debating abilities, but truth be told-- I have never lost my temper in an argument, even if I was totally wrong. Composure is always enough to get me through the battle. It irritates people to no end, but it's my only defense when the logic stops and the personal attacks start. I cannot stress enough how far a lack of emotion goes in a debate. Even if you are 100% right, you risk looking like a psycho turd if you get bent out of shape.

Kerry was a cold-ass motherfucker last night... cold as in "ice cold", like Ice T or Ice Cube. A cold-blooded killer. If last night's debate were a freestyle battle, or a scene from 8 Mile, then Kerry would be Eminem and Bush would be whoever had to go up against Eminem at the end of the movie.

I was right about Kerry-- he shouldn't be underestimated. He stole Howard Dean's thunder in Iowa, and now he's giving the Democrats what they want: a verbal prize-fighter. Remember when Mike Tyson was world-champ but didn't want to fight Evander Holyfield? When the day finally came, Tyson fought dirty and lost.

Kerry is Holyfield, and Bush is Tyson, biting at earlobes in desperation.

Electability isn't enough-- you have to be tough in this world. You have to fight for what you believe, and in an effective manner. You have to demonstrate your skills in the appropriate forum. Kerry has been getting flak for not getting down with Bush prior to last night-- that's called 'strategy', my friends.

Kerry is like that dude in the kung-fu flick who stands around, waiting, while everyone else is in a full-blown fist-fight. You know he's going to bust out with some crazy moves any minute, but he bides his time. Kerry last night was like Bruce Lee in The Big Boss aka Fists of Fury. If you haven't seen that movie, here's a nutshell recap: Bruce doesn't get into a single fight until more than halfway through the picture. Kerry is the same-- he just waited and waited, letting people write him off for dead, like he did in Iowa when Dean (my personal pick for the Dem nom) was the front-runner.

Having said all of that, here is what I'm going to do on November 2, 2004.

Nothing.

I'm not going to vote this year.

Yeah, I said it.

California's a lock for the Democrats, just like it was in 2000 when I voted for Nader. This year, Nader has no mandate (in my opinion) so he doesn't get my vote. But neither does Kerry.

I keep thinking of that line from "Won't Get Fooled Again" by The Who: "Meet the new boss/Same as the old boss..."

My candidate, Howard Dean, didn't make it this far, and it's too bad, because I would've voted for him in a heartbeat. He would've made mincemeat out of Dubya in a debate, but not coldly, a la Kerry. No, Dean would've bitten into Bush and torn ligaments apart. And he probably wouldn't have won the election, but he would've looked good while taking Bush down a few pegs.

My point is that California will be a Blue State, whether I cast a vote or not. I have no fear that Kerry will win Cali-- despite getting Ah-nold in the Governor's chair, the Repugnicans have no stronghold here. And if you ask me, getting Ah-nold in as the Repugnican representative is step back for Californian conservatives. They really would've liked to have had a Tom McClintock or a Dan Lungren or even a Bill Simon, but they had to take what they could get-- a Hollywood actor who is married to a Kennedy.

I heard it all before: in 1996, when I went Green and voted for Nader, I heard the clarion calls: "Dole could win! Don't throw away your vote! Clinton needs your support!"

I countered with: "No he doesn't!"

I wasn't surprised when Clinton won by a landslide.

And in 2000, I was right about two things: one, Nader wouldn't influence California's vote-- I was able to vote my conscience and also feel relieved that Bush didn't nab our state; two, Bush would lose the election... which was true, technically. He didn't get the popular vote, and he only got the electoral college votes AFTER the Supreme Court's decision regarding votes in Florida.

It's not my fault that Gore couldn't even win his own home state of Tennessee. Face it, Gore was a TERRIBLE candidate, and Kerry's not much better... but at least he can debate. Gore is a good debater too, but he has no balls. And he's annoying and obnoxious and wanted to label rock and rap records based on their lyrical content.

I am willing to wager that Gore would not have even garnered his party's nomination in 2000, had he not been the sitting VP for eight years.

Meanwhile, Clinton could run for Prez again and win big time. There'd be no "close race" in the polls, which are a bunch of bullshit anyway.

Fuck polls-- I have eyes, I know what I saw last night: a scene from Deliverance, the political version... a major butt-fucking occurring before us on national TV.

No spin can clean up THIS mess.

Therefore, I have decided that, in order to vote my conscience, I must not vote at all. I'm not in it to be on the winning side-- I know California is Kerry's, and that's fine enough for me. I'll give him props, I'll give him credit... but I will not give him my vote. I don't trust him.

I'm wasting my vote, because it's mine to waste. Anyone want to try and convince me otherwise?