notes

A weekend saturated with vice... two days that opened my eyes and cleared my cloudy vision... tears and smiles inexplicably bound together like kindling sticks ready for the fire... rockandroll release to balance my teetering rollercoaster wiles...

Inching closer to the core of my neuroses every day... a newfound dimension adds exciting planes to my personal geometry... doors opened and closed, hearts torn asunder and rent for sacrificial purposes... fine meals and scaled-down diets temper my impulses and keep me grounded... I am meditative...

Visits with family elicit truths I never bothered to notice... random words echoing from voice message systems reverberate inside my hollow skull... dreamtime covers me with a blanket as soft as nightsand, deep drifting into surreal bliss and unconscious abyss... poetry leaking from my soul like levees ripe to burst...

Only when fashioning some sort of certainty in the void of Space do I find any repose... and I conclude that all art is shadowplay, puppet silhouettes cast against bright white walls glistening in the dark... sculpting abstracts into reifications, concrete and tangible like granite, traveling to other planets by way of the far-off tangent...

Tearing my hale head of hair out will only wear me out... exhausted and in need of enervation, I seek shelter from self-inflicted storms... she reached out to me and gripped my hand as if I were dangling over a precipice precipitously... I cradled her with a solemn oath taking form within my psyche...

Now that I know the reasons, I can welcome the new season, and accept what she sees in me as something valuable, urgent and demanding but always within reach...