self

Recently, a robot demonstrated self-awareness.

I thought of Tommy, The Who's seminal rock opera. It's the story of a boy who becomes deaf dumb and blind due to psychological trauma. However, despite his handicap, he spends all of his time doing two things: playing pinball and standing in front of the mirror.

Tommy was written in 1969, so I know there's no real connection here. But it seems like this modern-day robot-- with its ability to distinguish between its mirror image and another, separate, identical-looking robot --is doing what Tommy did: carrying out complex mechanical tasks, and staring at itself.

This robot has a sense of self.

Self.


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In my unpublished novel, which is being filleted and edited with much caution, the main character (a writer) decides to annihilate his own ego. He is sort of like a human robot with self-awareness, and he figures that he was better off the way he was before he became self-aware. So he goes after his ego, which has taken on the form of one of his fictional characters.

While wrestling with his ego, he is alarmed to find that he might not be able to do the job. In addition to his interest in doing the deed waning, he also fears that his ego is stronger than he could ever imagine.

This is a parody of Eastern philosophy encroaching upon Western civilization. Most Westerners have a hard time being detached. They fear (or worse, subject to ridicule) Eastern philosophies, because of their vagueness and the embracing of uncertainty.

Eastern philosophy is decentered and ego-less, in the minds of the typical Westerner. Rather than seeing one's own image staring back at them from the other side of the mirror, the Easterner sees only an object with nothing special attached to it.

This is not much different from Westerners who see others, and not themselves, as objects.

Nope. Not much different at all...


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I have my days.

Some of them are megalomaniacal, filled to the brim with endless ruminations on ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME...

On other days, I seem to be on a mission to cancel ME out, erase ME from memory, to strike ME from the record...

Perhaps acorns sprinkled across my grave will do the trick. They worked for Sade.

I have my days. Or should I say, I have days...


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I think that Christmas and New Year should be rolled up into one three-day-weekend kind of holiday. And after it's done, so is the year. None of this waiting-one-extra-week-for-an-excuse-to-get-drunk-and-puke-and-sloppily-kiss... Let's get it all out of our system in one extended bacchanal.

What's wrong with that?


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I had a pretty nice year, but now I am on the cusp of the new one and I have to ask myself:

Where will I be a year from now?

I got something in the way of an answer when I looked back on what I was doing around this time last year. Specifically, I looked up my blog entry from December 22nd, 2004.

I was very pleased with the results. My ego was doubly pleased. But it wasn't a cocky self-bemusement that had me feeling good.

I was pleased because I didn't really know what to expect when I looked back. I figured it would've been some complaint or tirade. Imagine my surprise when I read the entry, and compared it to the one I posted this past Tuesday.

To paraphrase a line from Pete Townshend's rock opera: "Gotta feeling '06 is going to be a good year, especially if you and me see it in together..."


HAVE A NICE WEEKEND, FOLKS-- AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS...