CRITICAL MASS

Things are coming to a head in my world.

Australia looms large-- I will not know anything for sure until after Christmas, but I am wondering if it's the right thing for me at this moment in time.

Mortality issues-- My dear friend Anna has been ill, and today I talked to her and heard some good news... but it doesn't stop that back-of-my-mind worrying.

My lovelife-- What used to be a barren, desperate wasteland has suddenly become chockful of expectations, prospects, and visitations from past crushes and future liasons.

Creative powers-- I'm clocking in at what may be an all-time high for me. In fact, I just got done with the gig at The Knitting Factory no more than four hours ago. I'm still on a high from that. And I found out earlier today that Paulie has his foot in the door with some production company. They want to have a "meeting". Nothing set in stone, but at least there are talks of "meetings" being had.

The Holidays-- They suck. I hate shopping for presents. This year, it's homemade gifts all around. This ties in with my last pressing issue...

Finances-- It's about time I got some more cash. Is a Christmas bonus too much to ask? I don't know if we're going to get one, but it's been over six years since ANY job gave me a bonus that I could store in my bank account. I'm tempted to get another job, but I might be overextending myself.

The show was a success. Lots of people showed their support. Eve almost didn't go out, and I practically had to beg her to come with me. I tried to say that we should celebrate the upcoming "meeting", but I had to resort to drastic pleas.

"Look, Eve, I don't want this to come out weird, or sound sappy, but really-- I would love to see you there tonight," I told her, as we drove to The Garage to discuss the final version of what we are going to pitch at this "meeting". I looked at her as she drove. "It would mean a lot to me."

Yes, I actually said those words. Hard to believe, eh?

We didn't stay at The Garage long, but I was there long enough to see that I would have to come in and spend the entire next day working on certain things that should be done within a week. Then, we scooped up Bro Man and went out to the club.

Everyone in attendance had a lot of fun. Some of my younger cousins, who have their own band (please see DFM in my Music Links section if you are curious), came out to pay respects; Down Low rolled out to see us play; and Ellen's friends, some of them luscious hotties, arrived on scene, dressed to seduce or kill or both.

Katie got compliments all around, especially from Eve, who is vocal about girls she finds attractive. "Your violin player is kinda hot," she said to me as we reviewed the videotape footage after the show.

"No shit," I said.

We did all right musically. I made a few flubs, but bass players can get away with that shit and no one would ever suspect a thing unless it was a lead part or just painfully out of tune. Dan, the drummer, played at twice the speed he normally plays. Something about being onstage makes the music a little more rapid than usual. Maybe it's our collective nervousness... either way, we sounded good. I liked what we did.

I was lost in my bass bliss, psychedelic pot smoke wafting in and out of my ear canals, alcohol washing out my arteries and purifying my soul as it dirties it, the sting of nicotine during breaks...

Bro man was so wasted. We thought he was going to puke on us, in Low's car on the way back from Hollywood. He held up okay, but we were scared there for a sec.

Tomorrow I will get no sleep. I am strecthing myself above and beyond. It feels good, though. It feels like some type of undertaking that I must endure in order to pass to some arcane mystical next level. It's not a fast, it's not meditation, it's not the road to enlightnement... it's not even creatural indulgence. It's just me, trying to have fun before the day comes when I have to pretend I'm all grown up.

I just remembered something Anne Marie told me on Sunday: I have the same birthday as Rasputin. Very cool.

Yes, that last bit was random, but...

I am going to make some coffee now. I'll need it, for sure. I might blog later. If not, wish me luck.

Have a good day, people.