FIGHT

Being an emotionless, narcissistic bastard has its perks.

For one thing, I am not upset or depressed about Bush winning. I attribute this to the fact that I've dealt with way worse personal crises in my life. A man whom I've never met winning the presidency really doesn't mean a thing compared to the drama that I've experienced in my short time on Earth.

The day after 9/11, I was happy. I wasn't glad that it happened, nor was I trying to be dark and blackly humorous. I was happy because, for the first time in the latter half of my life, everybody else was miserable... way more miserable than I have ever been. The pain of 9/11 didn't affect me, because I am used to being in pain over many things. Everyone else around me, all whom avoid pain as much as possible and are very successful at it, was just plain sad, or angry, or both.

I felt free.

Sick, isn't it? But it's the truth.

I mean, I hate Bush. I voted for Kerry. I held out a little hope that, maybe somewhere down the line, Bush would have to reckon with a flood of uncounted Kerry votes. But by the time Kerry was conceding the election to Bush, I was on Craig's List, trying to keep the victors from gloating. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's a sore winner, and I used every dirty trick in my arsenal to shake up those smug motherfuckers. I think I did a good job, judging from the hate e-mails I received, but what was worth noticing was the equally hefty amount of positive e-mails I received from people who were too upset to articulate their own rage.

I did it for them. They thanked me.

And all the while, the results of the election didn't phase me. I'd already stated that, no matter who won, I would be disappointed. And so I spent yesterday and the day before burying my head in creative sands. I drew, I played music, I wrote...

My situation is still the same. A Kerry victory wouldn't have changed it by very much. My life goes on, I have my health, and my imagination is on fire.

Of course, I do care about politics. But to what extent? I am not much of a lobbyist, or a protester, or even a volunteer pollster. I write my screeds on blogs, I impose my opinions on others, and I incorporate my politics into my art-- what more should I do? Anything more than that would feel forced.

I always liked Jim Morrison's description of his band, The Doors. He referred to himself and his comrades as "erotic politicians". So I ask myself: What am I politicking?

My first thought was "chaos", because I seem to thrive on anarchy. But to call myself a "chaotic politician" is the height of pretentiousness. So then I figured that I was a "soul propagandist" but something about that phrase made me feel like I was a freshman in college, trying out my newfound knowledge on those who stopped educating themselves after high school.

Then, I came up with the title of "Power Taoist", meaning that I follow The Way but with a little more intensity than the average Buddhist. Plus, it rhymes. But I'm not really a Taoist, although I feel that Taoism comes closest to explaining how I feel about the world around me. I could never be a true Taoist though, because I have too much Western garbage in my soul that might never be purged.

Finally, I decided that I only politick myself. I'm a self-promoter, in other words. I act as if everything in my life is significant to the rest of the world. I ignore the insights of those around me, because I am too focused on my own navel to look up and take notice. But yet I hammer people over the head with my identity. I relentlessly campaign on the platform of my own singular existence.

That's not very Taoist, to be so ego-centered. Point taken.

But I see it this way: Wars rage on; babies are born, others die; humans are up-and-down, all the time; mountains crumble and seas dry up; bones decorate the desert sands; the stars in the sky fall from grace and we shoot men up into space in rockets; children starve, but some of them grow up to never hunger again...

All that mumbo-jumbo is my way of saying: Look around you. This is your world. You made it what it is. Others can try and change it, but they won't get very far if you fight them on the ground where you stand.

Ultimately, an election means nothing to me, especially if I have no faith in any of the candidates.

People are afraid Bush will overturn Roe v Wade. People are afraid that the war in Iraq will continue unabated. People dislike Bush, and cannot bear to think that he is in office.

I say, Bush cannot do anything if the people stand and fight. And maybe now I finally know the reason why I am so argumentative, stirring up shit and being a contrarian as I do: because I am trying to see who is ready to fight. I admire the man or woman who has their rap ready to go, unwilling to be conned by the brainwash that surrounds us every day.

I wish there was peace in my soul, but there isn't any. There is only a wish for peace, but I know deep in the back of my mind that there is no peace unless there is something that we are willing to fight for.

I mentioned in my last post that it's easier to have a villain in office, to put the blame on, and I stand by that statement. A politician is a politician, no matter how you slice it. They lie, they cheat, they abuse the system.

The question is: What are you going to do about it?

I've cried for bigger and better reasons. I'm not wasting tears on an election. I'm not spending energy trying to convince people that they are wrong. I am merely trying to blow your mind.

When 3,000 people get blasted to bits in New York, I take the time to bow my head out of respect. But that lasts about a minute. After that, I still have a life to lead. They are dead, and it sucks, but I'm alive, and I'd be a fool to act like it sucks.

If you ask me, this is a much-needed shot in the arm. No one appreciates their freedom until it gets taken away, and the past four years have seen a lot of our civil liberties eroding.

What are you going to do about it?

Republicans take control of the government-- what are you going to do about it?

Conservatives cheer at the New World Order-- what are you going to do about it?

I'll tell you what you do about it.

You fight. You fight back.

Don't tell me you're too sad or tired to fight. Don't tell me that I'm a putz for facetiously considering the possibility of not voting, only to fall apart on me when your man doesn't win. Get up off of your ass and fight back, for fuck's sake.

Do you care about Democracy? Liberty? Do you?

Then get up and fight.

During those Clinton years, everyone got soft, myself included. As the Bush years were ushered in, I regained my will to be ornery. Everyone else slipped further into their cocoon. But now, how much of a comfort is that job, that spouse, that kid or that house, that car and that Christmas bonus? If you have all of these things and more, but you are crying about the results of an election that was a farce to begin with... then you have nothing, I'm afraid.

I also have nothing. And yet, I am happier than I've ever been. I couldn't care less what goes on in Washington, because I keep up with local politics. THAT affects me more than what happens in D.C. What's going on in Iraq affects me more than what goes in in the White House. People say "Well, we wouldn't even BE in Iraq if Bush wasn't in office..." to which I answer "How can you be so sure?"

You can't pin all your hopes on someone else's victory. Al Gore wasn't going to save us, even if he had fought harder to get the presidency. John Kerry isn't going to save you either. Bill Clinton couldn't save you, and he had no intention of saving you.

You gotta save yourself. Life ain't fair, baby. Whatcha gonna do about it?

You gotta fight.

Wipe your nose, get up off your ass, and fight.

If you really cared, you'd do it, without my having to tell you.