LOSING STREAK

The cat is doing OK, if not better. He finally took a piss, but it wasn't in his litter-- he just let it loose right there on the kitchen floor, and I suspect that he has done this while I was out, in a place I have yet to discover. But the piss-taking is a welcome sign, because now I know his urinary tract is fine.

I also found a dried-up lump of catshit in the kitchen-- again, not exactly a sight for sore eyes, but a good sign of Otis' health. I was mostly worried that he was blocked up. He is eating very little and is able to walk around, but he whines alot. I don't blame him. The vet said a stress-free environment will help him regain his strength, but I really shouldn't wait too long. The vets have to OK the blood donor first. I think the donor will be fine, because it is Jenny, Otis' sister, who will be donating blood. My friend Beth owns Jenny, and she was the one who gave me Otis when she wasn't allowed to keep two kittens in her apartment.

Still, I'm scared. I don't want to lose the little guy. I also have to bomb the fuck out of my apartment, to rid the place of any lingering flea eggs. I will have to do this while Otis is getting the transfusion. In the meantime, I used some more flea dip on him-- that Advantage stuff works much better than the other stuff I was using. All of the fleas jumped off of Otis and onto me.

I practiced with the Dream Pushers again, and I have to hand it to Ellen-- she is not letting the embarrassment of last Friday get in the way of her resolve. She wants to play again, very soon, and we are slated to play The Knitting Factory in December. This gives me a little bit of hope shining through the utter bleakness of this past week, as it also gives me the chance to drool over Katie and her Wonder Violin.

Let me clarify something: it's not all lust. It never is all lust with me. A beautiful face and a firm figure are one matter; talent and smarts are another, and I think I am the kind who is really drawn to the latter aspect more than the former. My infatutation with Katie is no different than others, but what makes it exciting for me is that she really is a hot mama, in that Goth sense that I've always sort of dug.

So let me ramble on about the things I dig about her that are NOT physical attributes.

1. She is creatively intuitive: I know she's classically trained and can read music, but what gets me is her ability to play by ear. My method of approach so far has consisted of my asking her if she can play along to this song or that song, and so far she has always given it a try and impressed me with the results. She also is not afraid to get adventurous with the instrument. She will pluck the strings when necessary, hit the bow in appropriate moments, and goes for more texture than just the weepy range of fiddle.

2. She has a quirky sense of humor: Not just quirky, but a little bit naughty as well. She was rehearsing some harmonies with Ellen and went into some stream-of-consciousness spiel about sex that had me laughing on the outside and panting on the inside. Later on, she got in on the act when Dave and I started doing cock-rock moves during one run-through. But she tempers the silliness with discipline, asking questions about the violin parts and trying to move the session along before it gets bogged down.

3. She seems really into the band for the sake of it: Katie suggested that we use the theater where she is acting in a play (yes, she's also an aspiring actress-- this is L.A., after all) as a venue. She's in tight with the theater owner, so this could be a reality. She also brought up the idea of getting a permit to play outdoors, like at the Third Street Promenade in Santa Monica. She has done it before and wouldn't mind doing it again. And she did bring five people to our catastrophic first show, which is more than the rest of us combined. At first, she seemed flaky, but now that we've all played together for a while her commitment is equal to the rest of us.

4. She's an animal lover: Ellen asked me about Otis, because I called her on Saturday and asked if she knew of a good animal hospital or clinic where I could take Otis. Katie overheard me explaining my dilemma and instantly gave me sympathy, which was fine by me. I don't want to exploit Otis' condition, but I inadvertantly scored points with her this way. We talked about having pets, how they are like children, how attached one gets to them after a while, and she shared with me her own pet stories, including one about her 16 year-old feline. Even in sickness, Otis is helping me with the ladies... see why I can't lose him?

5. She stresses over the fact that she drinks a lot of coffee: One of these days, I'm going to have to invite her out for a cup somewhere. She and I can talk and comiserate about the influence of caffeine in our lives. I don't think she smokes, and I think one time she commented on my smoking when I took a break-- that could be a strike against me, ultimately. But we can do coffee. I've made a mental note to ask her when it comes naturally to ask, not in a contrived way, and I might have to do it with the other band members in tow. But that's okay.

6. She listens to my ideas: As the bass player, I inhabit an alien landscape, separate from the other members. I almost never get notes on my playing, unless it's in a bass-centered band like Funkin Pie. Otherwise, I can stand there and hit one note through every song and probably no one would be the wiser as to what I was doing. And no one takes me seriously when I have an idea for an arrangement. I usually have to fight to be heard, but I'm not obnoxious about it. Still, even though Katie admitted that she doesn't listen to the bass during rehearsals, she tunes up to me because my high strings are closer in pitch to her low strings. And I helped her find the notes for a harmony that she was trying to nail, and I think that made an impact.


Goddamn these crushes. I never get anywhere with them. They do me no good, other than to help me direct my libido into constructive waters. It's wishful thinking, that's what it is. I'm such a sucker. Why do I get the feeling that I'm going on about this for nothing? Is it because my actions are so muted that she has no clue as to how I feel about her? Yes, that's it. I'm trying to be coy. It won't work. I need to stop pussy-footing around this.

I'll take my time, though... because right now I've been having bad luck, and upping my bets while I'm on a losing streak is not a good way to increase my chances.