Title This One 'BORN LOSER'

Run of bad luck.

Shitty weekend. Here's the barebones.

Friday's show with the Dream Pushers (this band that I'm in with Ellen and the oh-so-lovely Katie) went bust. Bad promoter. Not our audience at all. Bumped to the last slot. Two songs instead of four. Vocals and violin cut halfway through. Katie flipped off the sound guy, Ellen stomped off the stage, and the band kept playing. I laughed, but in self-defense-- it really was a disaster. Still, I've seen worse.

In fact, I saw the worst firsthand when I got home. Otis, my beautiful cat, was sluggish and lethargic. Flashbacks to his urinary tract surgery sent me into a mild panic. One animal hospital emergency room trip later, I discovered he is anemic and needs a blood transfusion. After his last bouts with fleas, I guess some eggs hatched and reinfested him. I knew I shouldn't have let him go outside.

Those fleas sucked him dry. He will make it, I pray, but he is just so pitiful right now, curled up in a cubby hole in my apartment, not wanting anything. He hasn't eaten, save for some tuna that I left out for him, and he drinks water occasionally.

This whole affair upset me so much that I decided not to go to J's wedding in Hartford. This was the suckiest part of the weekend, because J's wedding was the one thing I really wanted to attend. I thought that all the drama subsided after I got my work schedule straight, but evidently God has been listening to my wrathful words lately and decided to call me on them.

That's the last time I call upon The Lord to destroy the world. Who'd have thought he would actually take me up on it?

Anyway, I feel rotten. I didn't even want to blog but I guess I gotta write something. I'm just a bad luck baby right now, and I feel like I am being punished by the gods, by being denied two of the most genuine relationships that I've ever had. I can't bear to think of Otis going through all of this shit, and I can't bear to think of how fucked up it was that I didn't show up at J's wedding.

I'm not a winner at this moment in time.

I'm going to do what my cat is doing, curling up in that cubby hole, recuperating. I need to recuperate from all of this. I'm going into my own cubby hole for a while. I'll be back, when I'm feeling stronger. Just let me lick my wounds for a while, in private, and I'll be good as new.

I promise.