Monday, March 14, 2005

COMPOSURE

This weekend, instead of feeling alienated from myself for my inability to feel or display the proper emotions at the appropriate times, I embraced my detachment and realized that emotional engagement isn't always the best position to take at all times.

There are moments when one must be detached. I admit, most of the time I am more detached than engaged, and I get a lot of shit for it. But those moments when detachment is needed? I am ready for them, and I get a lot of praise for my lack of emotion.

My feelings are in writing, drawn by hand, sung with a melody behind it... I prefer it that way. My mind is still playing catch-up with emotions I should've vented eons ago, and so the queue gets longer and I don't have time to feel everything I'm supposed to feel.

I'm sorry if I can't be human enough for any of you. Emotions can be so overrated sometimes.

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