SORRY I DIDN'T HAVE THIS READY LAST WEEK-- WORK GOT BUSY.
It took Robert one week to digest the entirety of Daniel Lazarus' novel, My Former Life As A Godless Heathen. He was a bit surprised that he actually enjoyed reading it. It wasn't a good book because it was well-written, in his humble opinion-- it was a good book because Lazarus had an interesting life story.
Daniel Lazarus was born to Communist parents who resided in New York. He was raised to believe in the Communist ideology that his parents, both Russian Jewish immigrants, had carried with them from their homeland. They were card-carrying members of the American Communist party, and young Daniel was a budding Socialist with dreams of overthrowing the Establishment.
He was affiliated, for some time, with the Black Panther Party in Oakland, CA during the late 1960's. Robert found it hard to believe that the short, balding Jewish man who was hosting the Mark Rayburn show all last week had been friends with the likes of Bobby Seale and Huey P. Newton. That section of the book was Robert's favorite part, mostly because he always thought the Black Panthers were cool. The photos that accompanied the book showed Lazarus, long-bearded and bespectacled, chilling at the crash pads of leftist luminaries of all stripes.
He had more sympathy for Lazarus after reading his story. Yes, the man was an egotistical blowhard, but he had also seen and witnessed things that Robert could only dream of being involved with, and of course Robert could see how a New York Jew could be disenfranchised with a militant group like the Panthers, who eventually turned on Lazarus and other movement sympathizers who happened to be white.
Robert put the book down and began to roll up a joint. His cat, a black Abyssinian named Narcissus, sat and watched him as he licked the paper and twisted it tight. The cat's green and yellow eyes were merely vertical slits, staring at its master's activity. As soon as Robert was ready to smoke it, the cat (oblivious to everything else) jumped up on his lap and curled itself into a ball, which made Robert laugh out loud.
"Narcy," Robert said to his cat, pronouncing the pet name so that it sounded like Marcy, "get down and let me smoke."
As Robert puffed on the joint, his mind began to naturally wander, and he began to think about how he wasn't too far removed from the likes of a Daniel Lazarus. There was once a time when Robert lived his life in a certain way, and looking back on that time he could see the aimlessness much clearer now.
When he was younger and fresh out of high school, Robert was going nowhere fast: he elected not to go to college; he decided that hanging out with his friends was more important than trying to hold down a job; he broke up with the one girl who had ever made him happy on a continuous basis, all because of his irresponsibility...
Then, his father passed away, which caused Robert to reflect deeply upon his own life. He had never known his mother, and now that his father was gone he had no one to watch out for him, no one to guard him or warn him about what was coming next. James, Robert's father, hadn't been much of a parental influence, but he still filled a void in Robert's life, and when he was gone, Robert resolved to take control of his life and stop goofing off.
When Robert applied for the radio gig, he had no job experience and no background education. He lied and said he was a student getting ready to go back in the fall, and that he would only be working part-time. After getting the job, he announced to his boss that he wasn't going to go back to school. Oddly enough, his boss was delighted to hear it-- they needed a full-timer, and Robert was picking up the radio trade very quickly. He went from passing out mail to editing commercial copy within a matter of months.
Landing this job made Robert get his act together. He stopped hanging out with his friends, who all went their own separate ways once their social circle began to crumble. He stayed in touch with them over the years, but reunions were few and far between. And besides, out of all of the friends, there was only one that he ever cared to speak to again.
Fabian Rourke.
They grew up together, went to some of the same schools, had similar interests and got along famously. Fabian Rourke was the brother that Robert never had, a loyal friend and an honest person who didn't know what it was to tell a lie. They complemented each other extremely well: Robert was good-looking, confident, smart but not too smart, funny and charismatic; Fabian was a budding genius with no social skills but armed with a lacerating sense of morality and an eloquent speaking style that made everyone stand up and take notice.
The two boys needed each other-- Fabian made Robert look smart, and Robert was the person who introduced Fabian to the world outside of his room at his parent's house in Wholesome, California.
By the time Robert had broken up with Rachel, a mutual friend of Fabian's and the one girl who made him consistently happy, Fabian had done a 180 degree turn from his nerdy, condescending persona. The last time Robert saw Fabian in the flesh, he was talking about moving out of Wholesome to attend UCLA, changing his name to "Jimmy Drawers", and publishing a novel.
Robert wished him luck, and that was the last time he heard from Fabian. He admired how people like Fabian Rourke and Daniel Lazarus were able to just pick up and move on, leaving their former lives behind. They possessed a knack for reinvention that Robert wished he himself possessed.
He thought about Fabian, as the marijuana smoke swirled in inkblot clouds above his head, rays of light gleaning through the Venetian blinds, igniting the motes and iotas and dust morsels as they freefell, pelting the jacket of the Lazarus book gently, like feathers cradling their way down to touch earth.
He wondered what Fabian was doing at this very moment. Last he'd read about "Jimmy Drawers", he was managing a boy band known as N-Supply, traveling around the country on small-scale tours. He looked at the picture he clipped from the magazine article: Fabian was wearing contact lenses, not the oversized welding-glasses that he used to wear all the time. It was funny to see Fabian's face without glasses. Robert had a hard time trying not to see them there. It was as if they'd left such an indentation on his face, from years of wearing them, that even with them off they still looked like they were on.
Fabian's hair was short and neat. It resembled the way Robert used to style his hair... the way Robert still styled his hair! And as he looked at the photo some more, he noticed that Fabian was wearing the same kinds of clothes that Robert used to wear, right down to specific brand names and talismans and jewelry.
This didn't bother Robert at all, because Fabian once admitted to Robert that he was everything he'd ever wanted to be. Robert remembered the moment well, because for a short second he thought Fabian was going to tell him that he was in love with him.
"Robert," Fabian has asked, on a dark night, walking through the streets of Wholesome after curfew, "I want to tell you something."
"What is it, Fabian?" Robert feared the worst.
"I've always wanted to be you."
Robert thought he heard him differently. "Did you just say you wanted to be with me?"
Fabian bursted out laughing. "Uhhh, no. That's not what I said."
Relieved, Robert began to relax a bit. "Sorry, bro. I heard you wrong. Go on, continue."
"I've always wanted to be you, and I just wanted to tell you so that you don't get mad at me if I ever do anything to... you know, copy you. I hate it when people copy me, you know? But people never ever copy me-- they copy off of me, like on a test or something. They want my brain, but they never want who I am. But you, Robert... you like me because of who I am. And I just wanted to tell you that I like you for who you are too. But in my case, you are something that I wish I could be. And I just want to tell you that, so that you'll understand in the future..."
"What's there to understand, Fabian? You're my friend. We're brothers. If you copy me, I'll take it as a compliment."
"Good," Fabian said, smiling, almost crying. "I'm glad you understand. I've tried to tell other people this, but they all thought I was getting homo on them. Know what I mean?"
Robert winced. "Yeah, I think so..."
"Thanks, Robert, for letting me copy you."
"You're welcome, man."
Robert reminisced and smoked and then he was finally high enough to unwind. He put a CD in the player-- it was The Ramones' Road To Ruin. "I Wanna Be Sedated" started to jump out of the surround-sound speakers.
Robert had a ritual that he liked to indulge whenever he was alone, at home, with his marijuana, with his sound system, with his computer and the books he collected from the discard bin of the Rayburn office. He likened it to a trance, and it helped him to focus on certain aspects of his work with sound editing.
He'd read about sound frequencies and discovered the varying levels: Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Delta and Theta. Delta and Theta ran the gamut from 0 Hertz (as low as one cycle) to 7 Hertz; Alpha covered the range of 8 to 12 Hertz; Beta covered the 13 to 30 Hertz range; Gamma covered 30 and beyond...
Alpha was Robert's primary obsession-- it is associated with relaxation mostly with eyes closed, day dreaming, and deep self-introspection. Sometime in the 1960's it was revealed that the key psychoactive ingredient in cannabis (THC) induced the Alpha state in humans. Scientist discovered it was the chemical THC that caused a euphoric feeling by being a substitute for the brain's natural pleasure chemicals (endorphins).
Robbert had become fascinated with Alpha wheh he'd read that women reported being moved to orgasm upon receiving frequencies slightly above the Alpha range. Although he had not been able to conclusively confirm this himself, he figured it was probably true and theorized that all sound frequencies can cause various reactions in the biochemical makeup of the human body, especially in the brain.
Sometimes Robert indulged in hallucinogenic "trips", and under the influence of such a drug he was an occasional witness to such phenomenon as "seeing" music. He invited a friend over to his place once, a musician who played acoustic guitar, and asked the muscian to play as they both tripped on psilocybin mushrooms. Both of them had reported seeing rainbow-colored "notes" emanating from the nylon strings of the guitar as they were strummed.
Robert had read about the electrical impulses in the brain, how certain barbituates like phenobarbital helped rein in overactive electrical brain impulses that cauzed seizures. Robert reasoned that sound frequencies, like certain drugs, could probably induce or control electrical brain impulses, depending on what was the intended or desired effect.
He stood in the center of his living room, dancing to The Ramones, reciting the lyrics to the songs. In his mind, images of fractal chaos generated endlessly upon themselves, causing him to lose equilibrium, to lose a sense of time and space, ever contracting and expanding.
The "trance" gave him insights into his own pathology and the world around him. It was a strange coping mechanism for him, to help him lose himself, his sense of ego, his sense of identity. Only when his mind was free from distraction could he focus on his inner-mind explorations.
On a hunch, he swung around to the bookcase and picked out a book at random. It was one of many conspiracy tomes that he'd picked from the Rayburn "Free Books" box. The title was a reference to mind control and the notorious program known as MK-ULTRA. He flipped open a page arbitrarily and read what was there to read*:
MULTI-MODE PROGRAMMING
K. Sullivan said that she was used to sexually service both males and females in the Beta mode, and to do assassination, bodyguarding and intrusions in hostage situations in the Delta mode.
And what is Alpha, Beta, Delta and Theta programming?
"Alpha was the basis for all the other programs," she continued. "It seems to be where a lot of information was stored in my memory, in my mind, that was used by programmers to develop the other programs. It's where some of my more generic alter states were also stored. Beta was the sexual servicing part of me. They also sometimes called the alter state 'Barbie'.
Survivors Cathy O'Brien and Brice Taylor were also subjected to Beta, or sex-slave, programming. They, like actress Marilyn Monroe, were called "presidential models", mind-controlled slaves for the use of high-level politicians.
According to [Fritz] Springmeier's book, "...in 1981, the New World Order made training films for their novice programmers. [Project] Monarch slave Cathy O'Brien was used to make the film "How To Divide a Personality" and "How To Create a Sex Slave". Two Huntsville porn photographers were used to help NASA create these training films."
Sullivan recalled: "I was used both as a child and as an adult in those alter states, and I had more than one. In those alter states I would not resist. I had no anger. I was an absolute sexual slave and I would do whatever I was told to do."
Delta programming is military-assassin programming that has trickled into popular consciousness through movies like "La Femme Nikita", its American remake, "Point of No Return", and "The Long Kiss Goodnight". Regarding the Delta programming, Sullivan said: "...it was when I was used to do hits, kills, and also bodyguarding and hostage extraction. I had a great number of alter personalities that had specialised training and had different modes to do different things."
Why was the training kept separate for different alters? "Part of it was so I wouldn't recall too much at any one time - if I did start to remember," she said. "And also because they hand-pick each part out for a certain type of situation. If you had a part coming out that was very loyal to people that that part was bodyguarding, you don't want that part going off and killing somebody. And you don't want a part that's specifically programmed to kill coming out and feeling sorry for the target. So you have to keep the emotions and the motives separate as well. And so that's why they had to have different parts."
Sullivan's description of Theta programming seems to correlate with the development and use of so-called extrasensory powers and extraphysical abilities.
"Theta was where they used - I don't like the word 'psychic' because I think it's been so misused - thought energy," she said. "I just knew it as magnetic-type energy from the individual to do a number of different things that they were experimenting with, including long-distance mind connection with other people - even in other countries. I guess you would call it 'remote viewing' - where I could see what a person was doing in another state in a room or something like that.
"It was both actual programming and experimentation. Because what they did - they kept it encapsulated in several parts of me, several altered states. It was a lot of training, a lot of experimentation."
Theta programming also implies the use of thought energy to kill someone at a distance.
"A lot of times I ran across other victims with Theta programming," Sullivan said in a recent CKLN radio interview. "One of the movie and book themes they used extensively was "Dune", by Frank Herbert. It won't be too hard to figure because what they taught us was that we could cause things to happen to other people. It was to build up rage inside. It would come out in a form of pure energy that would hit them... They had talked about people imploding internally in their digestive organs. I don't know because I can't see what goes on inside another body, but I do know that it does work."
The calculated admixture of doing good and evil seems to be a hallmark of the Illuminati methodology. It's as if they recognise, at a spiritual level, that all the horrible karma they create can be balanced by generous philanthropic gestures; for example, giving a billion dollars to the United Nations, or other feats of extraordinary compassion.
"Also, they tried to use me for hands-on healing because I had a grandmother who was a healer from Sweden," said Sullivan. "So they were trying - that was me and several other survivors I talked to since - to use them in that mode also. And hands-on healing means that you would focus electromagnetic energy into the other person's body."
What caught Robert's attention was the Greek alphabetical naming of the brain states described in the book, the same as the names ascribed to the levels of sound frequency. As he put the book down, he looked up at the TV, which was turned on with the sound down. This was one of Robert's favorite things to do: watch TV with the sound down, while another sound source was playing in the background. It helped him to make Jungian associations that he would not be able to make on his own.
On the TV, there was an ad for a TV show on the USA Network, based upon the premise of a female assassin who works for the CIA. Robert smiled.
He thought the actress was very attractive, and intended to try and watch the show when he could find the time.
Suddenly, Robert could tell that someone was at his front door, making noise. He thought at first that it may have been Narcissus, but when he saw his lazy cat reclined on the floor next to his feet, he decided to check out the peephole.
He saw the mailman walking away from his front porch.
Robert opened the door, wisps of pot smoke flowing out freely. He grabbed the mail and sorted it. Most of it was junk, and there was one utility bill in the mix.
He saw a letter addressed to him from one "J. Drawers". He opened it excitedly.
The letter was dated July 30th, 1998, and it read:
Dear Robert,
Man, how long has it been?
I'm doing real good. Life on the road is hectic sometimes but so worth it. My current job as a road manager has me booking gigs, hotel rooms for the talent, and handling per diem money. I meet a lot of people and have a gang of stories to tell you. One day it's all getting written down. Speaking of which, this is the first thing I've had time to write in a long time. I haven't given up on being a novelist, but with all the money I'm making and al the jobs I have going on right now, there just isn't enough time.
I talked with Kelly Paper not too long ago, and she told me you are working in radio. When I heard this, I decided to write you a letter, because you seem to have changed your phone number in the years since we last spoke.
Basically, I have a job offer for you, and if you are working with audio it will be right up your alley. We need an engineer for part of the current tour I'm on with N-Supply. The regular engineer is going to be taking a vacation soon, and we want to have a back-up on hand.
I have taken the liberty of express mailing this to you, and if you can do the job for me I promise the pay will be worth any time you have to take off of work. We won't be hitting the road until August, so you have plenty of time to contact me and tell me what your decision is. But even if you cannot take me up on this job offer, I hope you and I can at least get together and talk and hang out. It's been too long, old friend, and I haven't forgotten you.
Call me when you can,
Fabian Rourke (aka "Jimmy Drawers")
A phone number was listed at the bottom of the stationary.
What do you fuckin' know? Robert thought to himself. Fabian Rourke is back on the scene. And he's been talking with Kelly...
Kelly was Robert's "fuck-buddy" shortly after his breakup with Rachel. When he discovered that Rachel had run off with his friend Brian, Robert felt that it was only fair that he fuck one of Rachel's friends. Of course, the relationship went nowhere, and although he and Kelly left on good terms, he was ambivalent about seeing or hearing from her again.
Robert decided to sleep on it, and call Fabian in the morning. It made him feel good that Fabian had made it out of Wholesome and had not forgotten about the people who were his friends back when he was a nobody.
Robert didn't have any dreams that night. Whenever he smoked pot, he could not remember his dreams the next morning, for the life of him.
CHAPTER THREE COMES THIS FRIDAY...
*= Excerpt from Mind Control Slavery and the New World Order by Uri Dowbenko, 1998
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