I KNOW THE M.O.

When I last wrote at length about Katie and Elle, the girls in one of my bands, this is what I had to say:


I'm sick of playing bass for other people. Now that I have the home studio computer set-up, there's nothing stopping me from just doing my own shit, and putting it up online for others to peruse. Fuck everybody else. I'll still help Elle and Katie, but once the first demo is done, I'm going to focus on my own songs. I'm tired of playing for people who lack a coherent vision. I'm sick of bending over backwards for people who have unrealistic dreams of fortune and fame. I'm disgusted with ego-driven divas and talentless hacks who can't get over their rock and roll fantasies of yore... I finally realized that there is a whole subsection of Los Angeles comprised of over-the-hill musicians who want that last stab at the brass ring.


When I last saw both Katie and Elle, it was after a long rehearsal session at Elle's place. Afterwards, we went to Mel's Diner for some late-night dinner. That was over two weeks ago.

The conversation turned to Holly Golightly, Elle's good friend and the singer for whom I played bass before Elle. Katie had only met Holly once, after the fight Holly had with Deborah, another female singer.

"I never knew what she wanted from me," I said to the ladies. "Holly would practically conspire to have me spend the night with her. But I never made any moves-- I don't hook up with girls I'm in bands with."

I knew what I was saying when I said it. This was two weeks ago, and I was getting tired of all the uncertainty and lack of vision.

"Holly stabbed me in the back so many times," Elle said. "She'd tell me that she gave my tape to producers, but then I'd talk to those same producers and they'd tell me that they never got a tape from her. Then, Holly would lie and say she didn't hook up with this guy or that guy, but then later on the truth would come out..."

Katie chimed in. "She sounds like she's got major issues. I only met her that one time, after she'd gotten into a fight..."

"Yeah," Elle said, "with her so-called best friend. Deborah had had enough, and Holly had a temper. She talked a lot of shit. I guess Deborah wasn't taking it anymore."

Katie said, "You guys, you're giving her a lot of power by talking about her like this."

"This is the first time Elle and I have comiserated about her," I said. I looked at Elle. "She and I have never talked about it to each other until now."

"She must've had some type of allure then, " Katie said.

"Of course she did.. But she didn't know what she wanted either," I said, as coldly as I could.

"It really sucks for me," Elle said, "because we were such good friends. She could be really funny-- she used to be a stand-up. I feel like I kind of got her into singing in the first place. But she always wanted to compete with me. If I had a band, she had to have a band. If I had written some songs, she'd go out and write some songs and tell me about it. I love her, but she could be such a pain..."

"I hate it when girls compete with each other," Katie said. "I'm so not like that..."

I didn't say anything. I knew what was coming, later down the road. There was that one night, watching the two of them flirt with Mark, the producer... I knew that someone was going to get hurt, and it wasn't going to be me.

I think Katie is hot, but she turned me off quite some time ago, thanks to her ego and her chronic need for attention. And so, when I declared for the ladies at Mel's Diner that I didn't fuck around with the girls in my bands, I was effectively telling them that any drama that took place from that moment on was squarely on their shoulders.

I didn't hear from either of them for a while.


*/*


I was supposed to go to Elle's birthday party the weekend of February 26th, but I was busy with the cartoon. It was also the night before I bought the car off of Down Low, so I was not entertaining the notion of taking the subway again, especially after what happened to me the last time I took it.

I felt bad for not attending but, according to what Elle told me last night when I stopped by her pad shortly to go over some notes, maybe it was a good thing that I didn't show up.

Elle told me about how Katie showed up with two guys she'd never met before except on My Space; how she didn't talk to a single female friend of Elle's, preferring to flirt with all the men; how she didn't even know the name of the hostess who threw the dinner for Elle; how she got drunk, smoked a little pot, and started being obnoxious, doing things like walking around the house playing her viola loudly whenever the center of attention focused on Elle the Birthday Girl; how Katie turned up the Poor Little Girl antics when Mark, the producer dude that Elle and Katie were after, gave Elle a bouquet of roses and a card for her birthday; how Katie climbed into the hostess' closet, curled in a fetal position, to get attention from the guys in general and Mark in particular; how Katie and Mark left the party, leaving Elle to call her friend Stacey to pick her up and take her home; how Katie fucked Mark, and then Mark had the nerve to call Elle the next day to apologize for Katie's behavior...

"Wow," I said, "sounds like I missed one hell of a party!"

Elle laughed. I continued with, "Remind me not to miss the next one..."

I felt really really bad for Elle after hearing that. It sounded like Holly Part Two, and I know that Elle is still reeling from her relationship with Holly. My sympathy for Elle grew last night, because she is super-mellow and Katie is so high-strung that I suspect she is on speed. She exhibits all of the signs, and I've had my share of tweaker girls-- I know the M.O.

I almost wanted to call Katie and tell her to apologize to Elle, but I probably won't. I think I was right to take a big step back from all of this drama. I think I'm getting better at sniffing out the skanks, in other words.

A decade ago, I would've been a part of this web, I would've been tied into it way more intricately than I am now. I would've been hurt hearing about how Katie went with Mark, and I would've felt even worse for Elle, figuring her to be the victim. But as long as girls like Elle hang out with girls like Katie, and as long as girls like Katie flock to girls like Elle in order to reassure themselves that they still "got it", these types of things will occur.

It's not my world-- I didn't invent any of this. I am just trying to navigate it as best as I can. And one of the best ways to navigate is to avoid crashing upon the rocks.

So far, I've been steering clear, and doing a fine job of it. It's a shame that all of the girls that I dig are nutcases, but like I said a while back: I love the crazy ones.

But, that doesn't mean I have to like them, especially when they are empty on the inside.