RANDOM THOUGHT SWIRL

Yesterday I made off-color jokes at the Pope's expense.

Jokes, mind you. Taste aside, they were jokes.

This morning, I turned on the radio to listen to Howard Stern as I dressed. One of his call-in guests was some woman from a website known as God Hates Gays, and its sister website, God Hates America.

This intolerant bitch agreed with my assessment of the Pope, except she wasn't kidding. She also felt that Terri Schiavo, Mel Gibson, and anyone in world history (including our current President and Bill Clinton) belongs in Hell.

The only exception she could give was Abraham. Oddly enough, she also condemned Jews and Muslims, both whom are adherents to faiths spawned by Abraham.

Such is the way of the ignorant.

Of course, Howard applied his salacious interview technique to this shrew, asking her if she ever masturbated and telling her point blank that he thinks she belongs in Hell... but all this woman did was say, "At least you acknowledge there is a Hell..."

Strange, bitter woman...

It got me thinking about what Hell is. In my mind, I think of Hell as a state of spiritual disharmony, rather than a geographical location. Hell, in my mind, is less about fire and brimstone and more about our personal demons fleshed out and amplified, a sort of madness perhaps but not necessarily a mental illness, since we will supposedly not have any human faculties in the afterlife.

Anyway, according to my logic, that woman is living in Hell already. And when we return to the grave, her soul will go nowhere.

As for me, if there is a Hell below, will I go there because of my jokes about the Pope? Or will I go because I haven't balanced my karma before my demise?

I personally think that there is no Heaven, only Hell. Heaven is here, on Earth, where we are partaking of the pleasures that are all around us. Life is Heaven, if you ask me, unless you live in spiritual Hell...

What about all those people who suffer during this life, you may ask? Well, no matter what they are going through, they would prefer to be alive than dead, unless they are living in some sort of Hell where they want to end their life. I can understand that perspective, having been in that state once before.

I don't think Terri Schiavo wanted to live the rest of her days as a vegetable, and so she was set free from this mortal coil. That is living death, and I doubt she felt a thing as she wasted away in her hospital bed.

Such deep thoughts to be having as I dress on a Tuesday morning, no?


*/*


Last night, while perusing through my tapes, I found these mix cassettes from the late '80's, from a company known at the time as Personics.

The concept was simple: you could make a mix tape of your favorite artists by going to a record store, paying a few bucks, and selecting from their menu of singles. The Personics in-store set-up resembled an ATM machine, and you could scroll around and find your artist and put a song on a personalized tape.

I made four tapes before they pulled the system, and I looked at the selections I picked as I rummaged through the tapes.

My tapes included songs by The Velvet Underground, Iggy & The Stooges, Love, X, They Might Be Giants, T. Rex, Roky Erikson and The Aliens, New York Dolls, and Thelonious Monster.

I recall that, at the time, one of the reasons why Personics never took off was because they didn't have enough popular artists in their roster. It was mostly artists like the ones I listed above, or "golden oldies" groups like The Beach Boys and The Four Seasons. There was no Bon Jovi or Huey Lewis on the playlist because those artists wanted big bucks for the rights to use their songs.

I gotta say: Personics was pretty hip, to have all those artists I listed in their system. In fact, I can safely say that Personics introduced me to these obscure artists, whose cult followings allowed them to experience revivals and comebacks in the ensuing years. But I probably would have never bought a single album from these groups had it not been for the Personics system letting me preview the songs before I bought them.

Nowadays, you can't even find half of these artists in record stores. But back in 1986, I could make a quality tape for about a dollar a song, and I didn't have to take the risk of spending my limited allowance budget on an album that looked cool but didn't deliver sonically.

As I got older, I started spending mad dollars on music, but back then I wasn't a record buff. I was just beginning to find my own tastes, apart from what my family and friends recommended.

A system like Personics is antiquated and charmingly obsolete today, what with MP3s ruling the roost when it comes to music selection. But I owe it big, because it introduced me to the music that I ended up devoting all of my time and money towards purchasing.

If Personics were around today, it would be stocked with Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake bullshit. The kids would eat it up, and bands like Suicide or Ritual Tension or Television would not be on the list at all.

That's one of the reasons why the '80's sucked, in my opinion.


*/*


Listening to Jack 93 this past weekend, I realized that it really is just Arrow 93 with an updated format. I suppose that KCBS-FM, the station that aired the Arrow format, scoured their playlists and purged all of the songs that were not in demand, and re-stocked them with songs that get played on Star 98.7, KROQ, and KIIS-FM. The occurrence of '80's one-hit-wonders in the Jack 93 rotation is starting to scale back, and old Arrow staples such as Aerosmith and ZZ Top are resurfacing.

What was it that The Who sang in the song "Won't Get Fooled Again"? I think it was:

"Meet the new boss/ Same as the old boss..."

I think I like Jack 93, but only as long as they keep playing songs like Supertramp's "Goodbye Stranger" and cut back on songs like "Keep The Fire Burning" by REO Speedwagon.

These are the random thoughts swirling about in my brain...